Lance Risko had jumped bail and it was my job to get him in cuffs and in front of a judge…  again.  My name is Stephanie Peach and I’m a bond control officer in Hoboken, New Jersey.  That’s right, a bounty hunter. The only problem with this assignment was that I needed to find him first.  Lola as usual had an idea, and, as usual, it involved either eating donuts or gambling.  In this case both.

“I need a box of Buttercream maple bars if I’m goin’ to figure this scheme out, but I think if we go to Lance’s Atlantic City Casino and lose a lot at blackjack, we can make a stink and get pulled up to the manager’s office.  I’ll distract him and you get into his phone and find out where Risko is hiding out.”

Seemed like as good a plan as any, put wouldn’t you know it, when we got to the blackjack table, I just kept winning.  First deal I got an ace and an 8.  Now I’m no genius, but I know you don’t ask for a hit on 19, but I figured I’d stick to the plan.  A 2 of hearts.  Shit I won.  Then next deal a 7 of hearts and a 6 of clubs.  I stay.  The dealer busts.  Then I get a queen of diamonds and a king of clubs.  Hit me I say.  An Ace of Diamonds. And this is how the night went.  And then the free drinks start comin’.  Finally, this sommelier type comes up and asks if I want a bottle of their finest wine for my friend and me. 

“Sure”, I say, “do you have the Complant Chardonnay. “

 He says, “ma’am, you have excellent taste.  As a matter of fact the 2020 has just arrived.  I’ll be right back with a bottle and two glasses.”

Anyway, I’m up 5 big at midnight and I’m thinkin’, hey screw the body receipt, I think I’ll just cash out.  That’s when I sense a shadow looming over me and realize that one of Risko’s goons, a certain Bubba Stark, is sidling up behind me and I feel a hard object sticking into my ribs through his shark skin suit jacket. 

“Clearly that’s not a banana and clearly, you’re not happy to see me” I quip

“And neither is Mister Risko.  The boss wants to see ya upstairs alone,” he mutters.

“At least let a lady finish her glass of Chardonnay,” I counter, my hand only shaking a little

“Is that the 2020 Complant?  Why the wife and me had it last night.  It’s got a light straw yellow color and a nose of white flowers, apple blossoms, lychee, lime zest and a hint of camembert rind.  On the entry, notes of crisp lime zest give way to a lightly creamy mid-palate with flavors of honey, caramel, lily and alyssum.  It has a long finish ending with a refreshing note of acidity. Yeah go ahead and enjoy, I have a feeling it’ll be the last nice thing to happen to you for awhile.”

Well, I figure if I was going to go down at least it would be with the taste of a great wine on my tongue.  That’s when Lola pulled out her baretta and started firing.  As we ran for the exit, I reached over and grabbed that bottle with the apple blossom on it.  No way I’m leaving that behind.  The 5 K, I’ll get another time.

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